August Fourth
by GigglingGirl
Summary: This is a quick one-shot I put together today as it is the fourth of August, which was Rachel's due date much to Gill's displeasure and so my fangirling mind was set into action and this is the result. I hope you like it and please R&R.


_This is just a one-shot I decided to write as the lovely Hannah pointed out it is the fourth of August, Rachel's due date. So, hope you like it, please R&R and here goes:_

__August Fourth

Clutching the steaming mug of coffee in her hands, Rachel warily took a sip just waiting for the caffeine to kick in. She took up a seat at the small round table and hung her head in her hands while she tried desperately not to fall back asleep. After ten minutes of sipping an sleeping Rachel slammed her hands down on the table signalling to the empty flat that she was finally able to get ready for work.

Having brushed her teeth and complete all of the other essential parts of the morning routine, including getting dressed, Rachel went to turn the telly on to catch up on the news of the world, but before she did the calendar caught her eye: it was still stuck on July even though it was four days into the next month. As the page fell from Rachel's hand her heart sank as she was flooded by grief.

August Fourth: Baby Due!

Rachel's hand subconsciously moved to her abdomen but this was just a painful reminder of her loss. The tears crept into her chocolate brown eyes and gave them a distant glassed look before they fell thick and fast. Rachel slid to the cold hard tiled floor and tried to cradle her flat stomach. Between her sobs all that could be heard was the gentle repeated cry of "my baby".

~()~

Rachel arrived at Oldham police station and made the usual mad dash up the stairs only to find an empty office. Rachel walked in and headed straight for her desk walking past Godzilla's office, stopping momentarily to peer in to see Janet and Gill engrossed in conversation, presumably about the case the team would soon be receiving. Rachel turned on her computer and sat in the chair and lost herself in thought.

"What's up with you then Sherlock?"

Rachel snapped back to reality to find her boss staring at her. "Er, nothing, why?" Rachel replied suddenly feeling self-conscious about her probably swollen eyes.

"Well something has to be up, you are in the office and you aren't late, to be precise you are, and I can't believe I am saying this, early." Gill finished.

Rachel looked down at her watch to find it was twenty past seven; she didn't have to be in until eight. "Right." Rachel simply muttered in response to Gill.

Seeing that the conversation was clearly over, Gill headed back to her office to prepare for the arrival of the rest of her tem and the briefing that would follow.

"Okay now Rach, what is really wrong?" Janet questioned actually picking on Rachel's tear stained eyes.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Rachel's words were monotone and emotionless.

"If you want to turn out more bitter and twisted then Scary Mary Jackson then be my guest. But, if you didn't we could—"Janet joked before she was interrupted.

"Not here." Rachel muttered as she stood up and headed towards the host of all their conversations, secretive or not, the ladies' loos.

"I knew Scary Mary would get her." Janet thought to herself, pleased that she had been able to crack the tough cookie so quickly. "Works every time." Janet said, out loud this time.

"What?" Rachel question as she swung her head to look at her dearest confidant.

"I didn't say anything." Janet quickly lied mentally giving herself a slap around the head as if she were Kevin. "So what's up then?" Janet asked changing the topic back onto her younger colleague.

Rachel opened herself waiting for the words to come out they were replaced by tears. She stood there limp and helpless against her emotions.

"Rach?" The concern in Janet's voice was unmissable. She walked over and tried to look her friend in the eyes to seek out an answer but she found nothing but tears. She curled her arms around the taller woman and felt Rachel's head fall upon her shoulder. "Rachel?" Janet tried again, "What's up, love?"

"It's, it's…" Rachel sniffed as she tried to regain the ability to talk before she attempted to make a coherent sentence again. "It's the baby. Today's the day, the day my baby…" The word were losing their battle against Rachel's emotions.

"Oh Rachel." Janet sighed as she squeezed her arms tighter having finally understood what the young detective was trying to say. Janet muttered soothing words for a good ten minutes before finally releasing her arms and letting Rachel free.

"I'm sorry, Janet." Rachel said as she walked towards a cubicle in order to retrieve a tissue to wipe her eyes. "It's just shit."

Both women turned their heads as they heard a loud knock on the door. "Janet, Rachel boss is about to start the briefing." Called Pete.

"Right dry your eyes mate. We're gonna talk later, you and me, yeah?"

"Yeah." Rachel echoed.

~()~

Rachel threw her bag under the table and brought the large glass of wine to her lips and took a large gulp before turning to face Janet how was sat beside her. "Do you know what?" Rachel asked rhetorically, "I was sat in that office today and I just watched Kimberly nurse her bump and felt absolutely jealous."

"It's tough Rachel, it is tough—"

"Janet I feel hollow inside, I feel as if part of me is missing." Rachel sniffed deeply in an attempt to prevent the tears that were already forming in her eyes once again. "I meant to be holding a baby right now a baby right now not clutching a glass of wine and a fawning over an small square photo showing something that resembles a baby, but that's exactly what I am left doing. I just feel so empty." Rachel finally finished as a tear slid down her cheek.

"It's a terrible thing kid. It truly, truly is and nothing I can say will make it any better. Only advise I can offer is find a fella and try again." Janet said as she stared intently at her wine.

"I want my baby, I just want my baby."


End file.
